Customers Cause Riots Over New Air Jordans 11 Concord Release

The holidays are always my favorite time of year. Because I get to spend time with family and loved ones? No, please, I’m sick of those people a week after New Years. It’s because Christmas time gives us the rare opportunity to just beat the sh*t out of each other in public. Once December hits, you better be in fighting shape, because stores turn into straight up melees. Before you know it, the nice mother of 3 from down the street is submitting a middle school teacher by a rear naked choke for a DVD player. Believe or not, today’s brawl did not take place in a Wal-Mart. The new Nike Air Jordan 11 Concords were released early this morning and what do you know, a giant fight started that ended with police getting to use their favorite tool- pepper spray. Customers began lining up at the Westfield Southcenter mall in Seattle at midnight, and by the time the store opened at 4am, there was more than 1,000 people waiting. Even with all the fighting and the macing, almost all 1,000 people were able to get their $180 shoes. I don’t know what Michael Jordan is putting in his shoes, but meth dealers could learn a thing of two from him, because these shoes cause people to turn into a frenzy. An hour before the store opened, people started to get a little rowdy and began pushing and shoving. By 4am, things had gotten out of control. According to officer Mike Murphy, the crowd was on the verge of a riot. “It was not a nice orderly group of shoppers,” he said. “There were a lot of hostile and disorderly people.”  So naturally, officers stepped in and sprayed at least 20 people.

One man was so hopped up on The Jordans that he pushed an officer. Needless to say, he did not get his shoes; he went to jail instead. The crowd got so wild that 25 officers from various neighboring counties responded to the fight.Though everyone escaped with cuts and bruises, no one was seriously injured. The mall however, sustained some damage to a door. Speaking of damage to the mall, the Seattle incident wasn’t the only rumble caused by these shoes. Customers in Georgia actually broke into the mall because they could not stand waiting another second to get their new kicks. Twenty police cars responded to the break in and arrested 4 people. One of these was the mother-of-the-year who, according to FOX-5 may or may not have been buying sneakers while her two small children were locked in the car. Police had to break the windows to get the children out and she was promptly arrested upon her return to the car. I’m just glad that a product that caters to an athletic and built audience was released this close to Christmas, because let’s be honest, the crowd that lines up for iPhones at 2am isn’t capable of causing that much damage.

Oh, Did Obama get his?